“Where Is Your Mother In All This?”
I resent that you’re alive
I claw over every moment in time
And all those who fell before you
It should’ve been you
It should’ve been you every time
When they ask
“Where is your mother?”
I just want to say she died
Leave you buried in my mind
Leave you buried with the promises you made
Leave you lying in the cobwebs of Mohammad Fayed
In your ancestral pile of garbage
Names in a 1950s gazette
At the bottom of a Rubbermaid in your garage
Fuck your high societies
They never did a thing for me
When your China hoard outlives you
And the peculiar man with whom you reside
Will inspect each shard you left
Before he takes your hide
Just like every man before him
You gave yourself to them
That was the life you picked and chose
Over and over again
Everyday
Your granddaughter
I can’t believe
She’s your granddaughter
She’s never ever ever going to know you
How the skeletal wench raised her mother from a corner
Of her own life
And your grandson
Is already smarter than you’ve ever been
Like your mother
I hope he never even knows your name
No part of me exists with you
This line in the sand
Could cut through the core of the Earth
And fall through the universe
And it would still be too small a crack
When the doctors hold my gaze
And tell me to stay strong
I remember your drunken coma haze
And how your innards moved through the canister in the ICU
And I’ll never forgive you
For not getting up
For not trying
For sitting back
Eyes wide to the ceiling
Can you expire now?
So I can cast you from me forever
So when they ask
I can just say
“She died”
“…Finally”
Eyes wide to the ceiling
Do I even have to say
If you can’t mother your cancer-ridden daughter
Or show up to her wedding
Or when she gives birth her children
FOR NOTHING
YOU HAG
You had everything you ever wanted
FOR NOTHING
And I’ve had to bury so many fucking people I didn’t want to bury
But yet you still fucking drudge on
Useless stints
Holidays on the couch
Lip to the bottle
Your pity stains the cushions
Get up on the ceiling
I’ll be here to say Goodbye
I’ll be here to say Thanks For Nothing
I’ll be here to say Good Riddance
And whatever good is left in me
Has no place for you
For all eternity
Kathlyn Ramsey Moore 